Subtitles by explosiveskull
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Mm.
[LIQUID BOILING]
[SIGHS]
I'm Roy Silver. Great to meet you.
I'm Dan Waters, C.E.O.
Great to meet you, too, Roy.
I'm just gonna go for a wee.
As C.E.O. of this company,
I should see that whoever gets this job,
it will not be the prat that took a pee break mid-interview.
[BABY VOICE] Isn't that right, Hodge?
Isn't this a tiny bit ridiculous?
It's a FaceTime interview. We need to practice on FaceTime.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES, HODGE PURRING]
Can't we practice later, Ags?
I've got to, um... go to church.
[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Thanks for coming.
- Morning, ladies. - Trissy, darling,
Peggy brings her finest dandelion Chardonnay.
And hot from my test kitchen, raspberry and kale.
- [ORGAN PLAYING] - Wow.
Uh, Liz, your ingenuity knows no bounds. Thanks.
SARAH: Oh, ladies, please.
This is Sunday service, not a pop concert.
My sermon today
is focused on what the Lord tells us
about the nature of enduring love.
Since when did a miserable sinner like you get religion?
The new curate's take on God-type stuff
really makes sense to me spiritually.
Plus, he is fit A.F.
But whatever times we live in...
- Freddie. Off. - TRISTAN: ...unconditional love,
love that lasts,
still requires sacrifice.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Sorry.
- Agatha? - Charles.
TRISTAN: To quote John 15:13...
Don't tell me you're in love with the new curate, as well.
Me? Oh, pff!
Absolutely not. Not remotely interested
- in a smoking-hot vicar. - CHARLES: [CHUCKLES]
"...to lay down one's life for one's friends."
Let us pray.
We pray for the success
of the approaching Carsely charity duck race.
We pray for the continued success
of Reverend Bloxby's missionary work in Nigeria
and his safe return home soon.
Not too soon, I hope.
Yes, we're fine with Tristan.
- Thanks, God. - SARAH: Shh!
And we pray also for Mrs. Sarah Bloxby
and her Aunt Elizabeth, who died last week at the age of 91.
- Thank you. - Thank you, Tristan.
- Thank you. - Lovely service.
Bill's got a new girlfriend.
- Gemma will be gutted. - I wouldn't worry about it.
It will be over by the time she gets back from Ibiza.
His scary mum always scares his girlfriends off.
[GASPS]
James Lacey.
And bang on cue, I feel that strange mix of [BREATHES DEEPLY]
really excited and, yet, oh, my God,
- I'm gonna throw up. - You don't have to talk to him.
AGATHA: I can't ignore him forever, can I, Roy?
You haven't. By my count,
you've ignored him for about 45 seconds.
Uh, no, Freddie.
Roy Silver.
Non-believer.
But I have a feeling I can convert you.
Sorry. I mean, you can convert me.
Well, here we are again.
At the church, where you dumped me.
Really?
Yes.
Bit of a cheap shot. Sorry.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Um...
Look, I was wondering if, uh, maybe...
Should we go out for dinner?
- Why? - Uh...
[SIGHS] Oh, I don't know.
I just... I thought maybe just process our emotions,
talk about you and me.
Is there a "you and me"?
I thought there was just a you and him.
Him? Who's him?
JAMES: I'm not blind, Agatha. I can see what's happened.
I don't need to process my emotions, whatever that means.
Let's just get on with our lives, shall we?
- No. - WILKES: Denzel Wilkes.
Yes, yes. I know who you are.
Yeah, I know you know.
But, today, I stand before you
not as Detective Chief Inspector Denzel Wilkes,
Cotswolds crime fighter, but as plain citizen Wilkes,
standing for election as chairman of the parish council.
I hope I can count on your support.
James.
Perhaps we ought...
Do you think we should talk about Cyprus?
- Talk? Why? - Because...
In case there was anything that you needed to share.
Why is everyone processing and sharing all of a sudden?
This is Carsely, not California.
[SCOFFS]
Fair enough.
Have it your way, Lacey.
- How was that? - Oh, depressing.
You know what? I think James and I need to put a little bit
of space between us, like, for example, Wiltshire.
Please, Roy, let's get drunk tonight.
Oh, I've got my interview tonight, remember?
AGATHA: [SIGHS]
Your young curate seems to have, uh, quite the following.
Yeah. Well, I'm not a member.
And if you're any friend of mine,
- you won't be joining either. - Ooh.
- What's got into her? - Hmm. Let's think.
Huge congregation, collection plates overflowing.
Could it be that Tristan is whipping her husband's ass?
Mm, no.
Sarah's not like that.
Who's that little minx?
ROY: Don't know, but she's wasting her time with Tristan,
- because he is gay. - Yeah, you hope he is.
Roy's gaydar never lies.
Apart from that one time it did lie,
but I did apologize to all three guardsmen profusely.
TRISTAN: Uh, Mrs. Bloxby.
- Mrs. Bloxby. - [SIGHS]
I, um...
I just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about your aunt.
Oh, well, thank you for your concern.
My poor aunt is a reminder
that you cannot buy happiness or good health.
Her passing was a blessed release.
I'm sensing some tension between us.
Can I make you supper tonight just to clear the air?
AGATHA: A desperate need not to be alone tonight
means that I must accept your invitation to dinner.
I haven't invited you to dinner.
Well, if you're going to be pedantic about it...
How does 8:30 sound?
Sounds perfect.
But as friends, Charlie Boy, like we agreed.
Just two friends having dinner,
where, for once, I am not the dessert.
Okay. I can do that.
Good.
Probably.
- Ah. - Mm-hmm.
Mm.
- Manly hug. - Mm.
With no wandering hands.
Hi. I'm so glad you could make it.
I'm not one of your groupies.
Uh... uh, right.
Of course, yes.
You... Yep.
This way.
Thank you very much, old chum.
- We're through here. - [CHUCKLES]
[SOFT JAZZ PLAYS]
Ooh!
Is this actually the friend zone?
Or is it maybe the friends-with-benefits zone?
[SWITCH CLICKS]
Better.
[RECORD SCRATCHES, MUSIC STOPS]
There we go.
[BLOWS]
[GLASSES CLINK]
Cheers.
TRISTAN: Glass of wine?
No, thank you.
Reverend Bloxby and I choose not to drink on Sundays.
Uh... of course. [CHUCKLES]
I probably shouldn't either, but...
Uh, Mrs. Bloxby,
I owe you an apology.
My curacy in Bristol wasn't a very happy one.
I didn't know that.
I'd given up a pretty successful career in banking
to put my heart and soul
into helping some of my poorest parishioners,
and one night, I was... pretty badly beaten up
by some of the same young men that I'd been trying to help.
And I was lost.
Demoralized.
And then coming here to the parish
that you and your husband built up...
to be embraced so warmly by your congregation...
I think I let it go to my head.
I'm really sorry.
[CHUCKLES]
Apology accepted.
But only if you'll accept mine for being so ungenerous.
TRISTAN: [CHUCKLES]
You know, I think I'll have that glass of wine after all.
[LIQUID POURING]
You know, I was wondering...
would it help to talk a little bit about your aunt?
You know your problem?
You don't know how to be friends with a woman.
If sex is off the menu, you have absolutely nothing to say.
[SCOFFS] That's not entirely fair.
You just haven't given me the chance, that's all.
Oh!
I see. Okay.
Well...
I'm giving you the chance right now.
[CHUCKLES]
- [BREATHES DEEPLY] - [GASPS]
[TAPPING FINGERS]
Ah.
Uh...
[SIGHS]
I wonder who will win Wimbledon.
Smartphones are very good,
- aren't they? - Okay, I'm leaving.
Agatha.
[ENGINE STARTS]
I was sad to lose her.
Of course.
Yeah, I was her only surviving relative.
Ah.
So I'm guessing that means you have
to handle her estate all on your own.
That is tough.
Yeah, I'm dreading it.
Mrs. Bloxby...
Oh, call me Sarah.
Sarah, if you want some advice investing your aunt's money,
I do still know about finance.
- Well, that's very kind of you. - It would be my pleasure.
SARAH: Well, the solicitor says
that with death duties and legal bills,
there'll be next to nothing left, and anything that is left
is going to The Donkey Sanctuary, so...
- What a pity. - SARAH: Mm.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES]
Excuse me.
It's a, uh, parishioner.
Hi.
Of course, yeah.
Just give me a moment.
Yeah.
Sarah?
- I can explain. - Oh!
- Sarah. - No, don't "Sarah" me.
You're a traitor.
Now, when were you gonna tell me?
The bishop told me not to.
This parish is our home!
It is everything we've worked for,
and you've just stolen it from us!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]
Well...
fancy meeting you here.
Morning.
- How was the interview? - Smashed it.
But, Aggie, if I get this job, I'm gonna have to, um...
- You're gonna have to... what? - [SIRENS WAILING]
- I'm gonna have to... - [WAILING CONTINUES]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
James.
What... Are you...
Has something happened to Sarah?
[GASPS]
Police business. Coming through, coming through.
Sarah.
This way.
Sarah!
Now, you know very well that Sarah Bloxby
is not capable of murder.
Well, I hope not, but Tristan Delon
was found murdered in her house with her knife.
And she tells me they had dinner last night... alone.
Come on. You're not suggesting that she...
That she had feelings for him? Why not?
Half the village were in love with him.
Tell me about it.
But not Sarah. She hated him.
When I say "hate,"
I think I meant that they weren't best mates,
but, basically, she thought he was a pretty good bloke.
Oh, dear.
Did you see any strangers
hanging around the vicarage last night?
- [CELLPHONE DINGS] - No.
Although there was someone wearing a bright-yellow parka
walking by Tristan's lodgings as I left.
Mm. I've got a campaign meeting.
I'll be back later.
Goodbye, Mrs. Bloxby.
And, remember, if I'm elected, I promise you this...
and I promise it from the heart...
I will represent your interests,
whether you're in prison for murder or not.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
We found this letter in Tristan's rubbish bin.
Do you know anything about it?
I've got to find out who killed Tristan Delon
and clear her name.
Right, let's go back to mine, and we will review the evidence.
Agatha, can I have a word in...
Private?
I can't hear a thing.
Much as I care about Sarah and much as I'd like to help,
I don't think we'd make a great team at the moment, so...
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
this time, you're gonna have to go it alone.
Yes, yes. You're right.
We... Yep.
CHARLES: Agatha.
I got your text.
How can I help?
[SIGHS]
Bill says that Tristan approached the bishop
and suggested he replace Jez as vicar, and the bishop agreed.
So Sarah had a motive.
AGATHA: She had a big motive.
She was gonna lose everything.
Okay. Roy is running this case conference in the campaign
to prove that Sarah Bloxby did not kill Tristan Delon.
Item 1... This photo from the Carsely parish magazine,
slightly undermined by Sarah looking like a serial killer.
That's better.
So, who are these ladies,
or, as I like to call them, murder suspects?
On the left, Peggy Slither.
Right, Liz Jellop.
No, no, no, no, no. The caption's wrong.
That's Liz Jellop on the left and Peggy Slither on the right.
From now on...
Mrs. Boggle does not get to do the captions.
Liz Jellop I know from Ladies Society meetings.
She's a millionaire, single.
Started Jellop's Jams in her kitchen,
and out of nowhere, it became incredibly successful.
Word is that she is standing for chairperson
of the local parish council.
That's Peggy Slither on the right.
She lives over in Ancombe.
Widower and Liz Jellop's best friend.
But, listen, should we not be concentrating more
on Tristan's enemies and not just his adoring female fans?
What about his adoring male fans?
- Sorry? - Oh, Roy thinks
Tristan may have been gay.
Male or female, who else would want Tristan dead,
apart from Sarah Bloxby?
Bill said Tristan had mentioned to Sarah
that he'd been badly mugged in his previous parish, in Bristol,
which is why he took the job here.
- [CLICKS TONGUE] - [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] - WILKES: Right.
Come to make sure you don't start meddling about
in my investigation... again.
Detective Constable, warn her off.
Oh, Sir Charles!
Well, I'm glad to see you here, actually.
I was hoping to have a word with you with my, uh... other hat on.
Yeah. No doubt you're aware
of the impending elections for the parish council.
Now, the patronage of poshos carry great weight.
Would you do me the honor of endorsing my candidacy?
- [CHUCKLES] Well... - Oh, thank you.
Oh, you won't regret it.
Now let's get a picture
- for the voters. - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Oh, come on, Bill.
You know we work well together.
Yes, we do. Absolutely.
But not this time.
It's too personal with Sarah.
WILKES: Exactly.
Stay out of police business.
See you on the campaign trail, Your Highness.
[GRUNTS]
- [DOOR OPENS] - [GASPS]
Right, Roy. We're going to Bristol.
Google "Tristan Delon mugging"
and see which church he was curate at.
Aggie, I can't be your sidekick on this one, I'm afraid.
I've just got a second interview for that job,
- and they're flying me over. - Over to where?
Swindon.
Swindon? Well, can you fly to Swindon?
Ah.
Probably just get the train.
CHARLES: I'll go to Bristol with you.
I want to see this murderer caught
and an innocent woman spared a lifetime in prison.
Plus, there's a new cocktail bar in Clifton I fancy trying.
This is a purely platonic murder investigation, Charlie Boy.
No flirting.
[DOOR OPENS]
St. Mary's.
That's the church that Tristan was curate
at the time he was mugged.
Let's go in there, and we will interview the vicar.
[GASPS]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] - [SIGHS]
How did those two duffers get there before me?
Yes, Tristan was beaten up by louts
in the youth group that he ran.
But that's all I know.
I can't tell you anything I haven't already told the police.
So you didn't tell the police everything.
What? Yes.
I mean no. I mean, I'm not hiding anything.
Now, I-I think you should go.
Hmm? Mm.
[BELL TOLLING]
- Wait. - Ooh!
Did you know that Tristan was gay?
How did you know?
One has instincts.
Or Roy does.
Gay? Maybe.
Certainly bisexual.
There was one man, a rich businessman,
who showered him with gifts, took him to fancy places.
But that all finished around the time Tristan was beaten up.
Can you tell us the name of this rich businessman?
No. No, I don't know who he was.
And I shouldn't have said as much as I have.
Please.
She knows who that businessman is.
Definitely.
I think the answer to Tristan's murder lies in Bristol.
AGATHA: If I have learned anything
from these Carsely crimes,
it's that the answer generally lies in Carsely.
[GASPS] Stop the car!
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
The white car!
Parked outside the pub.
That is the same car that was parked outside Tristan's house
the night he was murdered!
Vote Jellop.
- Raspberry and prosecco. - [GASPS]
- Liz. - Oh, Agatha.
Just been handing out free "vote Jellop"
raspberry-and-prosecco jams in the pub.
Have one.
Please tell me you're investigating
poor Tristan's murder.
Oh, I've started investigating already.
Excellent. Best news I've had all day.
AGATHA: Why was your car parked outside Tristan's house
- the night he was murdered? - What?
Uh, it wasn't.
Um, I've... I've got to go.
I saw it myself, Liz.
- What were you up to? - I... Oh!
See? Told you the answer lay in Carsely.
Now come on! Hurry up!
[GASPS]
[BOTH PANTING]
Sorry.
Stitch.
You be careful, Agatha.
Oh, don't worry. She's harmless.
- [LIZ GRUNTS] - Aah!
- Oh! - [JAR SHATTERS]
- [BOTH SCREAM] - Stop following me!
- [SCREAMS] - [JAR SHATTERS]
- Aah! Aah! - Get away from me!
Aah!
Ooh.
[GROANS]
And Tristan had a dinner date with me that night, as well.
When he didn't turn up, I went 'round to his house.
And there he was, cozying up with the vicar's wife.
She's married.
She's very happily married.
There was really nothing between them.
I knew that.
Or at least "Liz the Happy Jam Maker" knew that.
But "Liz the Infatuated Spinster"
thought that every woman he met would steal him away.
If it makes you feel any better,
Sarah said the only reason that he was interested in her
was because of a whole load of money
that she didn't actually have.
LIZ: Oh.
Well, he did make investments for me.
And then I realized.
He was only interested in my money.
Did that make you angry?
Have you ever been in love, Sir Charles?
Well...
You know...
Possibly.
Well, I never had.
In my kitchen, inventing new jams...
That was all I needed to be happy...
until I met Tristan.
But, as he said in his last sermon, love is about sacrifice.
AGATHA: Reverend Grace Lancing said that he was having
an affair with a rich businessman.
No! No.
He was flamboyant,
and Grace Lancing might say that he was gay
because he wouldn't have sex with her.
But he did have sex with me.
A lot.
[VOICE BREAKING] There was nothing homosexual
about Tristan Delon.
Liz Jellop, Reverend Grace Lancing,
and mystery dodgy businessman...
all three of them in love with Tristan Delon.
All three of them new murder suspects
who are not called Sarah Bloxby.
- Good day's work. - BILL: How's my case going?
- No idea. - I don't know.
BILL: Of course you wouldn't.
Relax. I'm not here about that.
I'm here about Sarah.
She's still a suspect, but we're releasing her.
But, Agatha, she can't face spending a night
in the vicarage alone.
[DUCKS QUACKING, DOG BARKING]
AGATHA: "Richard Binser."
[SIGHS]
CHARLES: It had to be the Reverend Grace or Liz Jellop
who put that note through your door.
AGATHA: Whoa.
It's "Downton Abbey."
CHARLES: Indeed.
So, let's see if Lord Grantham
was having an affair with the bisexual curate.
- Mm-hmm-hmm! - [WHISTLES]
AGATHA: We're here to see Lord Grantham.
Uh... Richard Binser.
We don't have an appointment.
I'm afraid, unless you do, you won't be able to see him.
I'm Ellen Partle, his executive assistant.
AGATHA: Well, Ellen Partle,
if you could just tell him that Agatha Raisin
is here to talk to him about Tristan Delon,
I suspect we might not need an appointment.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Sometimes, you just have to play the local-celebrity card.
Mr. Binser doesn't know who you are
or what you're talking about.
Would you tell Mr. Binser
that Sir Charles Fraith is here to see him?
Sometimes, it helps to play the local-celebrity card.
Oh, hilarious.
New money is always impressed by old money.
Even when the truth is, old money has no real money left.
Do sit down.
Mr. Binser will be with you in a second.
Oh, and just in case you were thinking of blackmailing him,
I will be recording your entire conversation.
AGATHA: Mm!
New money not so impressed by old money
that it doesn't think old money would stoop to blackmail.
Excuse Ellen's overprotectiveness, Sir Charles.
If you can't trust an old Darwinian, who can you trust?
Ah! So you want to Darwin, too.
Uh, I wish.
No, I'm a Hillstone Grammar man.
- But we played you in rugger. - Ha! Good show.
I must say, I'm very impressed
with what you've done to Carsely Manor.
I'm very impressed by what you've done with Barfield Hall.
Do you think we could maybe interrupt
this landowners' love-in
just to talk about what we came here to talk about?
So, were you a friend or... sorry to be blunt...
a lover of the late Tristan Delon?
A friend, yes.
But a lover? No.
Can I ask, how did you meet him?
RICHARD: He was raising money for a youth group
he ran from his church in Bristol.
Tristan was very charismatic, persuasive.
Do you have children, Sir Charles?
No.
Well, none that he knows of.
RICHARD: Tristan felt like the son I never had.
I gave him £10,000 towards new premises for his youth group,
took him to dinner a few times,
even bought him clothes.
But, soon, he wanted more.
And more.
I paid a visit to St. Mary's Church,
and the vicar, Reverend Grace Lancing.
Reverend Grace said the youth group met in the church hall.
There were no new premises.
And when I called Tristan, asking for my money back,
he said he didn't have it anymore
and wanted even more money
not to tell my wife we were having an affair.
Sadly for him, my wife is now my ex-wife
and couldn't care less who I have an affair with.
Or, in this case, didn't have an affair with.
AGATHA: [CHUCKLES]
RICHARD: And that was the last I had to do with Tristan Delon.
I hope that helps.
Oh, I'm sponsoring the duck race,
so I'm sure I'll see you both again at the Carsely Hotel.
- [DOOR OPENS] - CHARLES: I believe him.
Of course you do.
You chaps played rugger together.
I didn't play rugger, actually.
Oh! Well, that makes sense.
I played squash.
- Squash? - Mm.
Haven't played for ages.
I rather miss a good, hard game of squash.
Just two opponents up against a wall...
the smell of sweat.
Well, don't look at me.
Our squash-playing days are over.
Well, that's a shame.
All I'm saying is that maybe it was his henchmen
that beat Tristan up that time.
Binser made his money in tech.
Computer nerds don't have henchmen.
He's a red herring.
AGATHA: The truth is, Tristan was using, two-timing,
and blackmailing every woman that came under his spell.
Which reminds me... We need to track down that woman
that Tristan was talking to after the service.
Which woman? He was talking to about 12.
The glamour puss.
Ms. Sex on Legs.
Wears Ray-Bans to church
and looks annoyingly younger than I do.
I didn't see her.
But I'm very much looking forward to questioning her.
Where do we find her?
I have absolutely no idea.
But for now, we are going to Ancombe
to talk to Peggy Slither.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[FLAP CLOSES]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
Hi!
BILL: Spending a lot of time together.
Bristol the other day.
What are you up to?
We're not up to anything,
apart from simply enjoying each other's company
and getting out of the village for a bit.
There's a whole world outside Carsely.
- It's called the Cotswolds. - WILKES: And for too long,
Carsely has been dominated by the Cotswolds.
Well, I'm saying "no more."
Uh, freedom for Carsely.
Let's crush the oppressor.
Thanks for that, Comrade Inspector.
Personally, I'm just here for a private word with Agatha.
Oh. And I'm just here for a private word with Charlie.
Too soon for Charlie.
We'll work on that.
I have a new girlfriend called Alice.
- We're very happy. - That is very sweet.
But I'm usually more help with unhappy, cheated upon,
and in love with an emotionally unavailable commitment-phobe.
I'm not after relationship advice, thanks.
Especially from...
Anyway, as you know, my mum is very sweet and lovely.
AGATHA: Did I know that?
Yes, I did know that.
But Alice is very shy and scared of meeting her.
So I was thinking, before Alice meets my mum,
just to build up her confidence, she could meet my surrogate mum.
That's a very good idea.
Who's your surrogate mum?
Well...
[GASPS]
Me?! What?
Am I not more of a surrogate...
slightly older sister?
Yes, that's... exactly what I thought.
Good. Glad we're on the same page.
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
Well, bring her over for dinner tonight, then.
Thanks. Excuse me.
Hello?
- Mum. - BILL: Okay.
- His mum. - BILL: When?
I mean, seriously?
"Vote Wilkes, says squire of Carsely, lord of the land."
CHARLES: That might be overdoing it a bit.
WILKES: Eh. [MUTTERING]
I've had 1,000 printed,
so after they've all gone up, we'll have a rethink.
BILL: Yeah. Thanks.
That was the station.
There was a white Volkswagen belonging to Liz Jellop
parked outside Tristan's on the night he was killed.
- Really? - BOTH: Really?
Tristan also made a date with Liz Jellop that night,
but he stood her up.
She was in unrequited love with him.
I knew it.
We didn't know it.
- Or anything else. - Clueless.
Agatha, Sir Charles,
we don't care how you acquired any information,
but if you do know something, please share it now.
Bill. [SIGHS]
We know nothing. About anything.
But if we find out something
- about anything, then... - [CELLPHONE RINGS]
...you will certainly be the first to know.
- Hello? - PEGGY: Darling?
It's Peggy Slither.
- [GASPS] - Who's that?
[WHISPERING] Who is it? It's...
- ...my dentist. - PEGGY: Agatha?
Teeth need a clean.
PEGGY: I have secret information about Tristan Delon.
Tell no one and come alone.
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
I know she said, "Come alone," but would you mind staying here?
Just in case she turns out to be a psychopath.
Agatha, sweetie!
So lovely to see you!
Have a wine. It's homemade.
No, really. I'm fine.
- Thank you. - Oh, never drink alone...
as my mate Liz Jellop always used to say
before she stopped drinking and I didn't.
Come on. Sit down.
- Not there! - Mm!
My husband died in that chair.
Massive heart attack right in front of me.
Sorry to hear that.
Don't be. I hated him.
I waited 10 minutes before I called the ambulance,
just to make sure he'd croaked.
Oh, the stories I could tell!
If I could remember them.
One for me.
And one for you.
You said you had some secret information about Tristan Delon.
And I do, my darling.
His real name was Terence Biles.
What do you make of that?
Why would he change his name?
The boy was very ambitious, as you know.
Didn't think "Bishop Biles" had a ring to it.
He was right.
Mm.
Oh, don't go.
I made dinner.
Were you in love with Tristan... Terence?
PEGGY: No.
Oh, I fancied the pants off him,
but I knew it wouldn't lead anywhere.
Unlike Liz, my poor deluded best friend.
Women like me and Liz...
or like you, Agatha, sweetie,
we're too old or too female for Tristan Delon.
Not a psychopath.
Just a lonely lush.
I doubt...
...that she could sober up long enough to kill anyone.
So, Tristan's real name was Terence Biles.
- Mm. - He changed it.
Well, to be fair, if my name was Biles,
I think I'd change it, too.
[SIGHS] Am I getting old?
We're all getting old.
It's just that some of us are getting old faster than others.
- I'm joking. - [ENGINE STARTS]
I've always thought you were rather beautiful.
AGATHA: Only "rather"?
How rude.
Hi!
I'm Bill's surrogate slightly older sister.
Come in.
Ah. This is nice.
Have a seat.
Now, go easy. She's very shy.
Right.
Would you like a drink, Alice?
[SOFTLY] Mm-hmm.
- What? - Tonic water, please.
Alice doesn't really drink alcohol.
So, um, Alice, what do you do for a living?
Oh, I'm a P.A. to a managing director in town.
Have been for years.
Mum's gonna love Alice. I don't know why she's so scared.
I know. Oh!
She's gonna have Alice for breakfast.
[BELL TOLLING]
Ooh!
- I'm fine. - You okay?
Mm-hmm.
Sir Charles Fraith, is it not?
- [SIGHS] - Yes.
Can I ask your opinion as a gentleman?
Of course.
Too much cleavage for a funeral?
I'm glad you approve.
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's my husband's grave.
I need to go and dance on it.
Reverend Grace. Can I just thank you
for putting that little note through my door?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Why did you lie about knowing Richard Binser?
And why didn't you tell us
that Tristan had scammed £10,000 from him?
Because I'd already been indiscreet enough.
And because Richard Binser is a very powerful man.
Look, I've... I've said nothing to the police about him.
And, please, I'm begging you... If they ask,
you heard nothing from me.
So, what happened to the money?
Tristan said that he no longer had it.
I don't know.
Well, Tristan did have reckless appetites.
Not just women. Or men.
Drugs, too.
I mean, I always suspected
he'd blown the money on cocaine and pills
and the men who mugged him were actually his dealers.
Mm.
Can I ask you a question that I have asked
pretty much every other woman in the Cotswolds?
Mm-hmm.
Were you in love with Tristan Delon?
No. But, I mean, I cared about him.
But if I loved him, it was, well...
like a mother.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
How do you know the Reverend Grace Lancing?
- What? - And what were you doing
- sniffing around in Bristol? - Oh!
Do I need to remind you that withholding information
is a criminal offense?
[GASPS] Did you go to Bristol to interview the Reverend Grace?
Answer the question, or I will arrest you for...
- Obstruction. - ...obstruction of justice.
Yes, she did.
We both went to visit Reverend Grace...
and a bunch of other vicars, to be honest,
but not as part of the investigation.
We're getting married.
That's what we were doing in Bristol.
Not breaking the law, but planning the happiest day
of our lives, weren't we, darling?
Yes, darling. And I'm absolutely thrilled about it.
Oh! That's cracking news. Good for you.
[GASPS] And good for our campaign.
Family values.
Well, feel free to congratulate us, Lacey, any time you like.
AGATHA: Married?
Really? What is this?
Some kind of... I don't know... weird ploy
to just try and get me into bed?
Which would you prefer... prison or being pretend-engaged to me?
- Hmm. It's a tough choice. - Well, I'm sorry.
It's all I could come up with at the time.
SARAH: Congratulations.
I think.
- Maybe? - Yes, thank you.
Who... Who is that woman?
SARAH: Oh, uh, Sharon or Charlotte something.
All I know is she was married to that millionaire
who bought the huge, derelict mansion
just outside the village.
- Carsely Manor. - SARAH: Yeah.
Which makes her...
AGATHA: Mrs. Binser.
Not anymore, thank God.
I'm Charlotte Bellinge these days.
I am a private detective
investigating the murder of Tristan Delon.
How well did you know him?
As well as he would have liked.
I'd recently divorced when we met.
I was flattered by his attentions.
[LIZ SOBBING]
Is Tristan's funeral really the place to discuss such things?
No. Uh, where could we, uh...
I, uh, do want to ask you a few more questions.
[SOBBING] And now he's dead.
[ENGINE STARTS, REVS]
Oh! Damn it!
[SIGHS]
Uh...
I don't believe for a second
that you're in love with Sir Charles Fraith.
Well, you are just going to have to believe it
because it is absolutely true.
[SOBBING CONTINUES]
BILL: She doesn't look much like a ruthless murderer.
I don't think she is a ruthless murderer.
Ran a check on her financial affairs.
The day Tristan died, she found out she was going bankrupt.
Because of him, she's lost everything.
We're bringing her in for questioning.
Oh, not now, Bill.
I mean, she's clearly guilty of being taken for a fool,
but look, she loved him.
Don't make this day any darker for her than it already is.
[SCOFFS] I can't keep breaking the rules just to please you.
Question her tomorrow.
What difference is it going to make?
Bill.
Bill?
I, um, might have been keeping something from you and Wilkes.
If you're gonna question anyone right now,
it should probably be a businessman
named Richard Binser.
I said I didn't want to be disturbed.
WILKES: Richard Binser?
We'd like you to accompany us to the station
to answer some questions
in connection with the murder of Tristan Delon.
Ooh, big picture. I love those big pictures.
When I'm elected, I'm gonna hang me one of those bad boys
behind my desk at city hall.
Village hall.
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
Liz.
LIZ: Please, Mrs. Bloxby...
Uh, Liz, are you all right?
I need to speak to someone about what happened.
[SNIFFLES] To Tristan.
Oh, James.
W-What do you want?
Agatha, I...
Agatha...
CHARLES: Lacey?
- JAMES: Fraith. - Now, boys...
What are you doing paying visits to my fiancée?
If I want to pay visits to my ex-fiancée, I will,
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Are you fighting over me? Don't fight over me.
I forbid you to fight over me.
He's not worth it.
You're not worth it.
You're even more not worth it than I'm not worth it.
No, wait a minute. I am worth it.
What does Lacey want?
That's a question I have been asking myself
for quite some time.
[SIGHS]
Oh, more to the point, what do you want?
Ah, well, um, I thought, as we were getting engaged,
you should have an engagement ring.
[BOTH LAUGH]
It was given back to me by one of my exes after we broke up.
Or, to be more accurate, thrown in my face.
- How romantic. - Mm.
Mind you, I think I've got a few old engagement rings
knocking about the cottage somewhere.
[BOTH LAUGH]
No!
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
Ugh!
Uh, not now, Bill, unless, of course, you're calling me
to tell me that you've arrested Richard Binser for murder.
BILL: That's not why I'm calling you.
Liz Jellop's been murdered.
Drowned in a vat of her own jam.
[SHUDDERING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
Sarah's story is that Liz Jellop rang her distressed.
She went 'round to her house but found her already dead,
jam everywhere, which is why she was covered in it.
Well, she's obviously telling the truth.
I mean, what possible motive
would Sarah have for killing Liz Jellop?
BILL: Liz Jellop's support for Tristan
almost resulted in Jez losing his parish.
Even you have to admit that she's still a person of interest
in this investigation.
Meanwhile, as a result of your information,
a respected local businessman
and great mate of the chief constable
has given us a statement
about his perfectly innocent friendship with Tristan Delon.
Yeah, I'm sure he has.
Where was he last night?
After he left the station,
Mr. Binser worked late with his assistant, Ellen Partle.
You know, Binser's mad as hell
about being dragged into all of this.
And the chief constable's mad as hell, too.
Well, I'm not scared of either of them.
Have you met the chief constable?
She's terrifying, seriously.
AGATHA: I just wish I hadn't stopped you
taking Liz Jellop in for questioning.
If I hadn't, she wouldn't have been at the cottage alone
and she would have been alive.
You can't know that for sure.
You can't blame yourself for that.
Well, maybe you could blame yourself a bit.
But now I must address the elephant in the room.
I know what you're all thinking.
Liz Jellop was running
against Detective Chief Inspector Denzel Wilkes,
and he murdered her
so he could become chairman of the parish council.
Uh... I don't think anyone was thinking that.
No, no. No one is above the law, Detective Constable Wong.
So... take me down to the station for questioning.
And I warn you, I've got a very weak alibi.
I shall go and see Charlotte, see what she has to say.
Well, in an attempt to be a better person,
I have agreed to help Sarah
with the preparations for the great Carsely duck race.
Kiss me.
- What? - Sarah's watching.
A real fiancée would kiss her real fiancé goodbye on the lips.
- All you're getting, mate. - I'll take it.
Hello, James.
[ENGINE REVS]
All right if I go in and get started?
Why is he even here?
Uh... did I somehow forget to mention
that James was helping us out today?
Yes, somehow you definitely did.
I'm sorry.
I just... I don't want you and James to lose that friendship.
I-I know you're really happy with Charles.
Why don't you come to the vicarage tonight for supper?
We can toast your engagement then.
Yes, let's do that. That's a lovely idea.
Tristan was beautiful
but, in the end, jealous and threatening.
And I'd had enough of that with my ex-husband.
You mean Richard Binser.
Well, he's the only ex-husband I've got.
So far, anyway.
Sorry. Yes, it's just that...
I didn't think he was that kind of man.
I mean, admittedly, at first,
we suspected he may have had Tristan beaten up
for blowing all of his money.
What?
Tristan spent all of Binser's money on drugs.
No, he didn't.
The day he died,
Tristan swore to me he still had all the money.
Well, where is it, then?
He gave it to Reverend Grace for safekeeping.
Tell me, Charles, are you single?
Yes.
I mean, no.
Sort of.
It's complicated.
Ooh! Tell me more.
I'm a big fan of complicated.
Yes, I'd like to order 200 rubber ducks, please.
Yes, I will.
Yes, of course!
Oh, darling, listen, you won't regret it, I promise you.
That's a promise, okay?
Bye. Mwah, mwah, mwah!
[LAUGHS]
You see, this is where my true talents lie...
good, honest work, like schmoozing businesses
for free stuff for charity duck races
where nobody ends up in prison or dead.
Oh, I recognize that look.
That's that
"Agatha's superficial and not as good as me" look.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Got that all into one look.
I'm rather impressed with myself.
AGATHA: Oh, voicemail.
Peggy Slither.
Oh, drunk again.
She says she's got some genuine information
about the murders for me.
Uh, why... why are you still sitting there?
Shouldn't you go and see her?
Nope, because she's just lonely and desperate.
And, anyway, I have got Morris dancers to organize.
Well, if you're not gonna talk to Peggy, then I will.
And look what happened the last time
you made a call like that, Sarah.
You're still a murder suspect.
- You definitely can't go. - Then let me.
And I thought we weren't doing any investigating together.
JAMES: We won't be.
I'll go and talk to her alone.
Look, Sarah is my friend, too,
and I'm sitting here ordering bloody rubber ducks
when I could be out helping clear her of murder.
Agatha, you think that I think that I'm better than you.
Let me prove you wrong. I mean right.
Monsieur Lacey, a treat for Peggy.
Have a drink. Have a seat.
Not there!
My husband died in that chair.
Yes, I heard all about your husband from Agatha.
But I'm not superstitious.
And no to a drink, thank you.
Now, what have you got to tell me?
Mm, so masterful.
You remind me of my husband. Don't go having a heart attack.
I wasn't going to share this information with anyone else,
but then my poor, dear Lizzy Jellop was murdered.
Why would anyone want to kill Lizzy?
She was so dull.
Peggy, I haven't got all day.
What is this vital information that you have?
PEGGY: Naughty, naughty.
Drink first, and then I'll tell you everything.
[COUGHS]
[GRUNTS]
What proof is that? It's lethal.
I keep lemonade for the kiddies and the ladies
if diddums would rather.
No. Uh, it's fine.
Fill her up.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
CHARLES: Reverend Grace.
GRACE: You don't give up, do you?
I've nothing further to say about Tristan Delon.
CHARLES: Did Tristan Delon give you £10,000 for safekeeping?
Charlotte Bellinge told me he did.
- [BELL TOLLING] - Well, she's mistaken.
I don't have it.
Tristan must have been lying to her,
like he lied to everyone else.
[CRYING]
Oh, that's marriage in Cotswolds, Mr. Darcy.
Started in love, and then you finish it
with them dying in front of you of a heart attack.
- [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] - [GASPS] Tune!
[GROANS]
I almost got married.
Nearly had the ring on her finger, and then...
What's in the envelope, Peggy?
Oh, don't worry about that now.
A wedding, church full of people, and then...
Was I right, Peggy? Was I wrong?
I don't know, because I wasn't invited!
[LAUGHS]
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
Very odd.
I've rung him several times. I've texted, and no answer.
I'm sure he's fine, but if you're worried,
this is Peggy's landline number.
Right.
See you around 8:00?
- AGATHA: Okay. - Okay?
Lovely.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[RINGING STOPS]
Peggy?
[DOOR CREAKS]
James?
Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no!
[BURPS]
Oh!
Jesus.
I thought you were dead.
I am dead.
I'm certainly not alive.
I'm never drinking Peggy's dandelion Chardonnay again.
Do you think I should just let her sleep it off?
You should let me sleep it off.
Oh!
[JAMES GROANS]
Peggy?
Hey.
Hello?
Hey, Peggy.
[GASPING, SHUDDERING]
Why is the room going 'round and 'round?
AGATHA: Did you see who it was?
No.
But whoever they were,
they were wearing some kind of yellow jacket.
Oh, wait.
Sarah said that she saw someone at Tristan's cottage
the night he was murdered in a yellow parka.
- [BURPS, GROANS] - Oh!
[DOOR CLOSES]
That you, Charlie Boy?
No.
Oh. I thought you were my fiancé.
- You've got a fiancé? - Well, no.
Well... I'm sort of engaged to Charles.
I'll talk to you about it later.
We're going to dinner at Sarah's house this evening to celebrate
if you fancy joining us.
I can't. I've got to go back to London.
I just popped down to...
- To? - ...tell you...
To tell me what?
...that...
I got the New York job.
You mean the Swindon job.
No. The Swindon job's in New York.
New York.
So New York as in New York
that's miles and miles across the Atlantic New York.
- That New York? - That's the one.
Um, I'm really sorry for lying.
I just didn't think you'd want me to go.
And I'm not even sure that I want to go.
Why not?
Because my life is here.
Because you're here, you silly mug.
You have to go to New York.
- Seriously? - Yes, you daft old tart.
This is an amazing opportunity for you.
And many, many amazing shopping opportunities for me.
CHARLES: You know, if you're not happy for Roy,
you don't want him to go, then why didn't you ask him not to?
AGATHA: Because much as it pains me to say it,
maybe Tristan was right.
Maybe love is all about sacrifice.
CHARLES: Love is what got poor Liz Jellop murdered.
AGATHA: Yeah. And Peggy Slither.
CHARLES: We don't know that anyone killed Peggy.
She was an alcoholic, far from healthy.
It could have been natural causes.
She was definitely murdered, by someone wearing a yellow parka.
Then why didn't yellow-parka-wearing man
or woman murder James at the same time?
[SIGHS]
[DOOR KNOCKER CLACKING]
I think we should tell Sarah tonight
that we're not getting married.
- Maybe you're right. - [DOOR OPENS]
ALL: Surprise!
[ALL CHEERING]
Oh, crap.
Exactly.
Thank you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Oh, I'm so sorry for lying to you.
Oh... lying, it's not that bad, is it?
[LAUGHS]
Oh, by the way, Jez sends his love from Nigeria.
There you are lying again.
You know, this is probably really inappropriate
at my own engagement party,
but that afternoon at Liz Jellop's house,
you didn't happen to see
that person with the yellow parka again, did you?
Uh, no. No, I didn't. Sorry.
A drink?
Mm.
[SIGHS]
[LAUGHS]
Ooh.
- You okay? - Yes. I'm fine.
So, has Alice met your mother yet?
No. That's happening tomorrow at the duck race.
Alice finds parties a bit much.
AGATHA: Yes.
I know how she feels.
James?
Oh, I'm on the water, possibly forever.
I'm just gonna... Yep.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Well, I don't suppose you've remembered the information
that Peggy had about Tristan.
I can't remember anything.
If I hadn't got so drunk,
maybe that poor woman wouldn't have been murdered.
We don't know that anyone's been murdered yet.
You don't believe that. I know you.
Yes, you probably do.
You know, this afternoon, just for a moment,
I... thought that you were...
Yeah, I know.
An experience, hangover, like today
makes you question everything.
I should have said this before.
I was going to say it the other night.
What? What were you going to say?
Don't marry Charles.
Why not?
He's fun.
He's full of life. And, uh...
And he likes me.
And do you know what?
He's honest with me.
I know where I am with Charles, so you tell me why.
Why shouldn't I marry him?
Because...
AGATHA: Why?
It's a very bad idea.
Oh.
Because it... it's foolish and impulsive.
With his romantic history, not to mention yours,
- it's doomed to end in failure. - Oh.
I see. Right.
So, um, were we just doomed to end in failure, then?
What? I'm not... I'm not talking about us.
No. You're not, are you?
I know that now.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, LAUGHTER]
I have spent so much time and energy
wanting to be with James Lacey...
being with James Lacey...
trying to get over James Lacey.
I am now over James Lacey.
I think I may even be over Carsely.
That's why we're fantasy-buying a pied-à-terre in Bristol.
- Uh... - We made a fantasy offer
on a fantasy loft apartment just today.
I told everyone at the party.
Oh, well, that is definitely a fantasy,
because no fantasy fiancé of mine
would put an offer in on an apartment
without consulting me first, just for future reference.
Well...
I shall say good night.
Good night.
Charlie Boy.
You don't fancy coming in for a couple of hours
of fantasy online house-hunting, do you?
- [CELLPHONE RINGS] - [GASPS]
It's Bill.
The pathologist just called.
It's definitely another murder.
Peggy Slither was suffocated to death.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
And suddenly, I am not really in the mood for house-hunting.
No. Me neither.
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
I don't need an apology, James.
JAMES: Good, because I'm not offering you one.
I remember.
This afternoon, at Peggy's, before everything got messy,
there was a small padded envelope
on the coffee table in the living room.
On the front, it said, "To my darling Peggy.
Guard this with your life. Love, Tristan."
We... We could go there tomorrow, find it.
AGATHA: It's a crime scene.
Tomorrow, there is gonna be police everywhere.
Tomorrow's too late.
This really isn't my idea of a booty call.
Oh, and here's your ex.
It really isn't my idea of a booty call.
- The window. - The window?
JAMES: The window?
Charles will never get through that.
Well, neither will you.
No, but I will.
[GRUNTS]
Ooh!
[SPITS]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[CLATTERING]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
BILL: What was that?
Go around the back.
Ooh!
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
- Good morning. - Morning.
- Hey.
AGATHA: Morning, Sarah.
Oh. Sorry. What's wrong?
Computer error at the brewery.
The free beer they were supplying
is no longer being delivered.
We have no alcohol to offer people,
no budget to buy any,
and the villagers already hate me
'cause they think I killed their favorite curate.
Oh, they don't hate you.
They might strongly dislike you, but they don't hate... Oh.
None of us are gonna get through this day without any alcohol.
Come on, Charles. Think of something.
I can think of something.
I know where we can get as much free alcohol as we like.
[BOTTLES CLANKING]
There you go. Peggy's finest.
We'll sell it with mixers,
unless you want the villagers to die of alcohol poisoning.
Excellent idea.
I shall market them as a cocktail.
Dandelion Negronis.
Here we come.
[FEEDBACK]
SARAH: Welcome to the Carsely duck race,
kindly sponsored by Binser Enterprises.
Mr. Binser has given a huge amount of time and money
to Carsely charities.
[FEEDBACK, APPLAUSE]
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
WILKES: Vote Wilkes. Vote Wilkes.
Vote Detective Chief Inspector Wilkes
or I'll arrest you on a trumped-up charge
and have you thrown in the cells.
No. I won't.
Just kidding.
Vote Wilkes.
- Vote Wilkes. - AGATHA: Enjoy.
A vote for Wilkes is a vote for crimes.
Of the many foolish, illegal things you've done,
breaking into Peggy's is the most foolish and illegal.
Somewhere, possibly even here,
is a killer who's murdered three people,
one of them in Peggy's house.
I want to go to your wedding, not your funeral.
What were you doing there?
Looking for evidence.
And before you ask, I didn't find any,
because if I did, I would be sharing it with you now.
No, you wouldn't.
How's Alice getting on with your mother?
BILL: I wish Alice would just... relax.
Well, I might have something that could help her with that.
[INDISTINCT TALKING ON PA]
One dandelion Negroni, please.
Oh, and make it a large one.
In your dreams, sonny. Hop it.
WOMAN: 3, 2, 1, ducks in!
[ALL CHEERING]
Over the other side! The other side! Quick.
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
That was wonderful. Please, all of you have a drink.
Oh! Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
I wondered whether your boss would show his face,
what with him being suspected of murder.
Mr. Binser's charity work is very important to him.
He's not about to let the unfounded suspicions
of an amateur detective
deter him from doing his best for the community.
If I were you, I'd keep an eye on Charlotte Bellinge.
She's a highly predatory woman,
as Tristan Delon and Mr. Binser both found out to their cost.
Investigate her.
CHARLES: Shall we have dinner later?
[LAUGHS] Charles.
I'd love to.
If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here.
Yeah.
Thank you.
MAN: What do you think you're doing?!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
I wouldn't have done that.
Please, stop it!
MAN: You stop!
We ain't taking orders from a murderer!
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
ALICE: Stuck-up cow.
BILL: Don't talk to my mum like that.
Don't talk to me like that, mama's boy.
A real man would stand up for his woman.
BILL: Well, maybe you should go
and find yourself a real man, then.
ALICE: I found one, thank you. My married boss.
We've been bonking for years.
- What? - I tried to resist him.
But the truth is, I love Ronnie.
And I will wait the rest of my life for him,
if that's what it takes.
Such a cliché.
A secretary so in love with her boss,
she'll do anything for him.
Of course.
You're right.
A secretary so in love with her boss
that she would do anything for him!
Sarah.
You are a genius!
[ENGINE STARTS]
Agatha, where are you going?
Nowhere in particular.
You'd never leave a drama unless you were going to a bigger one.
[SNEEZES]
[BLOWS NOSE]
[SIGHS]
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
Oh!
- What?! - SARAH: Jesus Christ.
That is blasphemy, Mrs. Vicar.
SARAH: Uh, Tristan had a picture of Jesus
on the back of his phone case
in this photo I've just seen on the Internet.
But the phone case he was using on the night he was with me
said "T.B." in big letters.
I don't understand.
He must have two mobile phones.
And he received a call from the T.B. phone
on the night he was killed.
AGATHA: Maybe he had two phone cases. I don't know.
I mean, surely the police would have checked his phone records.
Sarah, are you sure you're not just misremembering?
SARAH: Uh, yes.
I remember it being weird that he'd have a phone case
with "T.B." on the back when his initials are T.D.
T.B.
Terence Biles.
Peggy Slither said that
that was Tristan's real name, Terence Biles.
Can you call Bill and check and see if Tristan
had a phone in the name of Terence Biles?
Sarah, I have to go.
Oh, Agatha, you idiot!
ELLEN: Looking for me, Ms. Raisin?
Well, join me for dinner,
and then you can explain why you're following me.
You think I'm in love with my boss.
It's okay.
I'm used to this kind of nonsense.
If you're middle-aged and single,
everyone assumes you must be the crazy, desperate one.
Mm.
I am loyal and protective of Richard Binser.
He's been very good to me down the years.
And, yes, I would do almost anything for him,
but commit murder?
No.
I want to know more
about this complicated relationship of yours.
You're engaged, or maybe you're not.
But either way, you were happy to have dinner
with a dangerous divorcée like me.
It's not great behavior, is it?
CHARLOTTE: I think it's perfectly fine behavior.
Monogamy is hard.
Hello, darling.
Charles, this is Julian.
Julian, I was just discussing with Charles
how relationships can get stale,
how just the two of you can become quite boring.
And sometimes it's fun to involve...
...other people.
You'd like to try that, wouldn't you, Charles?
You naughty boy.
Carsely Cabs.
Yes, I know. Well, it's Gustav's night off, so...
Enjoy your dinner, did ye?
Are you falling for that tart Bellinge,
just like my...
...dear Tristan?
[SNIFFLES]
Are you okay, Reverend Grace?
No, of course I'm not bloody okay.
Do I look okay? Bloody idiot.
No!
You leave that right where it is.
That knife or gun
or whatever weapon you're hiding in your pocket.
I am making a citizen's arrest on you
for the murder of Tristan Delon
and, just to be on the safe side,
Liz Jellop and Peggy Slither.
Oh.
I don't have a knife or a gun.
All I have is the £3,000 that's left of Richard Binser's £10,000
that Tristan asked me to keep safe for him.
Oh, hell.
Where's the other £7,000?
[SNIFFLES]
I spent it.
Gambling on the horses...
...and the dogs and the football...
...and spread-betting on Eurovision.
[SNIFFLES, CRYING]
Can I ask, did you call Tristan on his mobile the night he died?
We didn't have that kind of relationship,
but, uh, half the women in Carsely did,
so, uh, maybe ask them.
And what about Charlotte Bellinge?
You said that I should investigate her.
Why was that?
[BOTH LAUGH]
I don't know if I'm drunk enough to tell you that.
Do you fancy another drink?
I only live 'round the corner.
And then I will tell you everything
about Charlotte Bellinge.
JAMES: I want to talk.
CHARLES: Not now, Lacey, please.
I've just narrowly avoided an orgy
and then had to take a mad gambling-addicted vicar
to the police station.
- It's been quite a day. - Where's Agatha?
She's been gone all afternoon, and I'm worried.
Well, don't be.
She's off chasing some harebrained theory
that Binser's secretary murdered Tristan and the others,
based on no evidence whatsoever.
- It's crazy. - I doubt that.
She thinks this woman is worth investigating, then she is.
I know Agatha.
Yes, well, I also know Agatha.
And I know this case better than you,
and I assure you she's wasting her time.
[VEHICLE APPROACHES]
Where's Agatha?
Following Ellen Partle.
Oh, no.
Tristan had two phones.
On the night he died, he received a call
on the secret one from a pay phone in Malmesbury,
just around the corner from Ellen Partle's house.
We'll follow you.
Right. Should we carry on with wine, then?
Oh, absolutely. I think it would be rude not to.
Duck race.
Oh.
Whoops.
You know that that's Liz Jellop, not Peggy Slither.
I know that now, don't I?
Bloody Mrs. Boggle.
Screwing up the captions.
Well, Mrs. Boggle has a lot to answer for.
- [GRUNTS] - [THUD]
[SIREN WAILING]
I've made a mess of everything.
I didn't trust her instincts.
I know our engagement was fake, but now...
JAMES: What? Your engagement wasn't genuine?
What? No.
But now I realize I am totally in love with her.
I had to do it.
Tristan said he had photos of my Richard at a sex club.
And he wanted £100,000 for it.
But I knew it was lies. Of course I did.
But even lies could ruin Richard's reputation.
I didn't want to kill Tristan or the others.
And I don't want to kill you, either.
I think I'm going to have to.
And it's your own fault, meddling bitch!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
BILL: Police, Ms. Partle. We know you're in the house.
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
[GROANING]
ELLEN: Oh, shut up!
D.C. Wong... and friends.
Have you seen Agatha Raisin this evening?
Oh, we've just had dinner.
We discussed her theory that I'm some kind of serial killer.
Had a good laugh about it, and then she went home.
Really? Perhaps we could come in and talk more.
ELLEN: Of course.
The second you have a warrant, you'll be very welcome.
- She's lying. - Well, certainly,
but I can't just force my way into a private house.
I'm a police officer.
Luckily, I'm not.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
AGATHA: Looking for this?
[GROANS]
[THUD]
Oh.
[GROANING SOFTLY]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
Agatha.
[GASPS] Charles.
I knew I could count on you.
Always.
Ellen Partle, I'm arresting you on the suspicion of the murder
of Tristan Delon, Liz Jellop, and Peggy Slither.
And the attempted murder of my friend Agatha Raisin.
[HANDCUFFS CLICK]
Ellen Partle was a deranged obsessive
who sacrificed everything for love.
You were right, darling.
I will never doubt those hunches of yours again.
Well, you will, but that's all right.
So, Ellen Partle
was in a relationship with Richard Binser.
No, Binser says there was no relationship
with her or Tristan.
And there's no evidence to suggest he's lying.
Without telling Binser,
she went to reason with Tristan that night
after speaking to him on the phone,
challenged him to produce these so-called photos.
He told her he'd given them to a friend called Peggy Slither
for safekeeping.
But then he became abusive and threatening,
and Ellen grabbed the paper knife
and stabbed him in self-defense.
- SARAH: Hello? - AGATHA: Hi.
I wanted to check on the patient
and thank the patient for clearing my name.
My pleasure.
Bill is just telling the patient all about Ellen Partle.
So, now Tristan was dead, but Ellen was worried
that these photographs might still be out there.
She identified Peggy Slither
from the photo in the parish magazine.
- But the captions were wrong. - BILL: Exactly.
So she follows Liz, thinking it's Peggy,
then, when the house was empty, broke in to find the photos,
but then was disturbed by Liz when she came home early.
It's only when she saw the news the next day
that she realized she'd killed Liz Jellop by mistake.
So she thought she had no choice but to kill Peggy Slither.
BILL: She claims she didn't want to.
She kept watch on Peggy Slither's house,
waited until Peggy was alone and passed out drunk,
but then Peggy woke up and saw her looking for the photos.
Let me get this straight.
I have a couple of questions.
CHARLES: No, that's enough.
Sorry, guys, but I'm gonna chuck you out now
so that my fiancée can get some rest.
Surely now the, uh, investigation's over,
you can drop this silly fake engagement.
- It's not fake. - [DOOR OPENS]
Or it won't be.
As soon as she's recovered,
I'm going to propose to her properly.
AGATHA: Could you get my phone?
I just want to call Bill
and get him to go through everything again.
CHARLES: I've hidden your phone because you need to rest.
[SMOOCHES]
AGATHA: Okay.
I am going shopping
so that I can make us a celebratory dinner.
Toodle-oo.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Okay, Charlie Boy, where have you hidden my phone?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
What have you forgotten?
- [DOOR CLOSES] - RICHARD: Mrs. Raisin.
I'm so sorry for everything that's happened.
I feel dreadfully responsible.
Well, if that's what she wants, it could be great for her.
Oh, it's wonderful you're being so positive about it, James.
- Thank you. - No, I'm joking.
I think it's terrible you're being so positive about it
when it's clear to everyone you're completely in love
with Agatha and it's breaking your heart.
My heart is not breaking, and I'm not in love with Agatha.
I make it a strict policy of not being in love
with women who are getting married to someone else.
- Bugger that. - Sarah.
Sorry, but this is ridiculous.
You risk your life for Agatha going to see Peggy Slither.
You search for her all day when she goes missing
while Charles Fraith has dinner with another woman.
Follow your heart, man, before it's too late.
[CHUCKLES] Honestly, you could have just sent them.
No, no, I had to come and apologize in person
for the nightmare that Ellen Partle put you through.
Not to mention James Lacey.
Sorry?
He must have been traumatized by his lucky escape.
Uh... yeah.
Y-Yes, he was.
Right. How do they look?
Dreadful, I'm sure.
How did you know James Lacey was there?
Bill Wong told me that Ellen Partle
had said that Peggy Slither was alone when she killed her.
But she wasn't.
James was there.
How did you know that?
The police don't even know that.
It was you, wasn't it?
You killed Tristan Delon and the others.
[SCREAMS]
Don't move!
Stay where you are, or I swear to God I'll kill you.
I think you're gonna do that anyway.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
You're a smart woman, Mrs. Raisin.
You're a lot smarter than Ellen Partle.
We agreed she'd take the blame for the murders.
And then when she got out of prison, I'd marry her.
[CHUCKLES]
I should have known I couldn't trust someone so unstable
to get the story right.
AGATHA: And what is the story?
RICHARD: Oh, everything happened just as Ellen said it did,
except, yes, I was having an affair with Tristan.
And, yes, he did have photos which could have destroyed
my private and professional reputation,
but I disposed of them, just as I'm about to dispose of you.
I am sorry.
But I've worked hard for what I've got,
and I can't watch it all destroyed.
[DOOR OPENS]
Agatha.
You can't marry Charles.
Could we maybe talk about this another time?
No, no. I'm not gonna wait a moment longer.
We should have talked about this a long time ago.
I love you.
And I'm asking you to marry me.
Again.
[GRUNTS]
Oh!
[CHOKING]
Ah!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Have I missed something?
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
You okay?
So, the chief constable is very grateful
that I cracked the case.
She was also very annoyed at me that I cracked the case.
[LAUGHS]
Maybe it's time to make it official,
become a professional private detective.
You may have a very good point.
SARAH: Hello!
We'll wait outside.
JAMES: What about us? Should we...
make it official?
That's why I came back to Carsely, to ask you to marry me.
Is it?
So, why didn't you ask me before now?
You seemed happy with Charles.
Well, why shouldn't I be happy?
Charles looked after me in Cyprus and... and here.
Ellen Partle tried to kill me, and Charles saved me.
- What? - It doesn't matter.
No, what? Tell me. What were you going to say?
[GASPS]
It was you, wasn't it?
[GASPS]
You broke down the door. You found me.
It was you that saved me, not Charles.
It was you.
I'm just glad you were safe.
I saw you with him, and it broke my heart.
I thought about spending my life without you and I wanted to die.
I loved you too much to hurt you again
when I thought that you were happy.
So I... said nothing.
I can't marry you, James.
I'm kind of done with marriage.
But if you fancied living in sin for the next...
50 years or so, I'd be very much up for that.
[LAUGHS]
Come here.
- Oh! - Hey!
[LAUGHTER]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
Are we friends?
Friends.
- [GLASSES CLINK] - [SIGHS]
James has won... for now.
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
Oh.
Ah!
Charlotte.
Dinner tonight? Yeah.
Yes, I think I can squeeze you in, if it is just you.
[DOOR OPENS]
Yo! She's back.
Roy?
I thought I told you to take the job in New York.
I took the job in New York. I'm not stupid.
But I knew you couldn't live without me,
so I will be selflessly splitting my working week
between London and New York City.
Oh.
It will be hell, but I am worth it.
You are worth it.
Thank you. That's on inside out.
[LAUGHTER]
Agatha, haven't you got something to say?
I do.
There is a reason for this little gathering.
And I know that we have all been here before.
Oh, no.
AGATHA: But James and I have been talking.
And, uh, I have an announcement to make.
Not again.
This is something I've thought about for quite some time now,
and I feel very sure about it.
I am becoming a professional private investigator.
Well, thank God for that. [LAUGHS]
I knew you'd be happy. [LAUGHS]
- CHARLES: It won't last. - Heard that.
[LAUGHTER]
- Hooray! - Congratulations.
[GLASSES CLINK]
Subtitles by explosiveskull